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Asshole comments

On October 20, 2003, I posted an entry to my first blog over at Blog City. A few days ago I got a comment on that entry that really made me mad. Here is the entry, the comment, and my response to it.

Sarcastic Hints On Tipping
Here's a few hints on tipping, straight from the bartender who left with a whopping $7 in her pocket tonight.

Hint #1:

This is for all you foreigners out there. Bartenders/servers in America DO NOT MAKE JACK SHIT PER HOUR. Hence, you need to tip them 15-20% of your bill. ALWAYS. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS (unless you have unbelievable bad, rude service).

Hint #2:

When the restaurant accidently makes a boo boo and forgets your reservation, forcing you to spend a few minutes at the bar, and during this time you order drinks and an appetizer, and then the restaurant comps your drinks and appetizer, do not mistake this as us really being nice. We are trying to keep your business. Also, drop a tip to the bartender. "We took care of it for you" is NOT restaurant speak for "Please be a cheap bastard and walk away without leaving at least a five on the bar." Rather, it is restaurant speak for "We're dumbasses who forgot your reservation and now we're trying to get you not to hate us and make it so that you come back one day. But do the right thing and leave the bartender a tip, because he or she did actually do work for you, whether or not you actually ended up paying for it."

Hint #3:

Don't just leave a dollar per drink. This is great for the bartender when you have only ordered 3 drinks and the total probably did not come to $15, but it really sucks when you order like 10 drinks and the bill definitely comes to more than $50. ALWAYS TIP 15-20% OF YOUR BILL. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.

I hope that has cleared some things up for the tip-retarded out there. Really, is it that big of a hassle to tip your server or bartender for the work that they have done. Oh yeah, one final pet peeve of mine. 20% of $74.50 is NOT $14! (this is just an example) Did your 5th grade teacher not teach you how to do percentages? Say you're really stupid. So, here you go, I'll do the math for you. 10% of $74.50 is $7.45. DOUBLE IT. That makes $14.90 and are you really so cheap that you won't throw in an extra 10 cents? The point is, you don't just take 10% of the first number and double it, you take 10% of the WHOLE NUMBER, DECIMAL POINT INCLUDED and double it. Got it? Good. Don't do it again.

Comment from Steve
There are exceptations to tipping 15-20%. For very poor or rude service you tip nothing. For extremely good service, you might tip more than 20%. So, your wrong when you say there are no exceptions.

People from other cultures may not be familiar with tipping. You can educate them with a little more sensitivity than you show on this blog. Wouldn't you want the same consideration if you traveled to another country?

This blog gives the impression of a nasty, arrogant, bitter, and generally unfriendly person. Your contempt for the customer is palatable. If you come across that way to your customers in the bar, it's no wonder that you don't get any tips. You catch more flies with honey. A lot of times those who fake being nice begin to see the world in a more positive way and then end up being genuinely nice. The world suddenly seems brighter. Tips will come pouring in, you can count on that. It's nothing magically, it's just a matter of perpective. You create your own reality to a larger degree than you think.

For the next month I want you to start putting a positive spin on everything, assume the best about everyone. Find something you genuinely like about each customer. Don't dwell on anything negative and don't let a bad tipper affect your view of other customers. Fake being nice if you have to, but after the positive feedback come in, you won't be faking anymore. Give this a genuine and honest try. Remember, positive energy! In a month, put an entry on this blog and tell what happened...


My Reply to Steve
First of all, I am truly insulted by your comment. You think I come off as arrogant? Look in the mirror buddy. Secondly, you have no idea about my outlook on life and it is totally inappropriate for you to assume that I am a naturally negative person. Actually, I'm a pretty positive person who really enjoys bartending/waiting tables.

Now, on to your comments about tipping. You say for very poor or rude service you might tip nothing. I don't subscribe to that line of thinking and neither do a lot of people, especially people who work in the industry. Personally, I subscribe to the thought that if you have poor or rude service you should speak with the manager about that server. Tip them 10%,but if they're really that bad you should let someone know about it.

About foreigners, you say I should educate them with a little more sensitivity. This blog was a rant. It was not actually meant for foreigners to read and take as a lesson in tipping. When I go to a foreign country and I don't know how to tip my waitperson I ask what is appropriate. My comment was not meant to seem ethnocentric (although I'm sure you will tell me that it came across that way and that I should adjust my attitude accordingly), it was only meant to point out that people from other countries should not make assumptions about the proper way to tip in this country.

Clearly I was having a bad night when I wrote this, although that subtlety seems to have flown way above your head. And now, after reading your comment, I'm not having such a good day. If we knew each other that would be one thing, but your comment is so full of assumptions about me that its laughable. I won't even dignify the rest of your comments about me and my bad attitude with a response. I do hope you come back in a month and read this comment so you can read the part where I tell you that your pompousness makes me ill. Fuck you Steve, and get a life instead of spending your time commenting on others.


posted by Lauren@ 11:07 AM


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