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27.4.04

24 hours from now

24 hours from now I will either be doped up and passed out, or drunk and passed out, but not both. 24 hours from now I will also be about two hours away from landing at Heathrow airport for my trip to London. Why will I be doped up? Because I'm terrified of flying. I have Alprazolam (or something like that, its a dope me up and put me to sleep so I don't have a panic attack sort of drug, aka anti-anxiety) but I'm hoping not to have to take it since all the booze up in first class is free. There are also free manicures and massages that I would like to be awake to enjoy. But, if there's turbulence, and perhaps even if there's not (last time I flew I had knocked myself out with a small OD of the stuff before we even took off), or more accurately, perhaps before I even get to find out whether or not there's going to be turbulence, I may have to take some of the pills. Please, don't tell me that flying is less dangerous than driving. I know that. Even more to the point, I get that the chance of my actually dying in a plane crash are slim to none. But that's why they call it an irrational fear. If I could tell myself all those other things and not be afraid, then that would be rational. But something in my brain goes a little haywire when I start to inhale that pleasant recycled air smell that all planes so wonderfully provide us with. But anyway, I'm actually getting a little nervous just writing about this, which is something I want to keep myself from feeling like, so I'm gonna stop this.

I'm gonna try to post while I'm in London, but I might not be able to, especially if the rate for getting on the internet at the hotel is some ridiculous price. I am however, planning on keeping a diary of my trip, which I will post (and date correctly on the blog according to which day I wrote it) when I get back if I can't post at all while I'm there. So wish me a bon voyage and many safe and happy returns or some other sappy weirdo bullshit and I'll be happy. Although I really would be a whole lot happier if I were one of the passengers on the QM2 or QE2, both of which left the NY Harbor last night en route to London. Oh well, ya can't have everything.

posted by Lauren@ 1:14 AM

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