ah, the lottery
I know you must be tired of it by now, but here's some more wisdom from our esteemed, "intelligent," and fearless leader.
"The system is less about justice and more about somethin' that looks like the lottery... And with the plaintiff's bar gettin' as much as 40% of any verdict, sometimes there's only one winner in the lottery."*
George W. Bush
January 16, 2003
Referring to current medical liability laws. Scranton, Pennsylvania.
If anyone can decode this quote for me, I think I might rank you among our nation's geniuses (or maybe you have to be dumb to think this makes sense).
*Quote taken from Presidential (Mis)Speak
I have to get this off my chest. My biggest pet peeve ever is when someone finishes a roll of toilet paper and doesn't replace it. My second biggest pet peeve ever is when someone finishes a roll of toilet paper and doesn't take it off the holder-thingy and instead just leaves the new roll of toilet paper on top of it, or on the counter or something. I mean really, this shit drives me NUTS
. And my brother and sister, with whom I share a bathroom, do this shit all the time
. It makes me a very angry person. I've asked them over and over and over and over and over again to try to remember but they just don't do it. And so I get very hostile towards them.
Also my hostility could have something to do with the fact that when I woke up this morning there was no Life cereal left because my sister had eaten it all (she doesn't even like it, she was just too lazy to ask my mom to buy anything else, the little witch). I can't survive the day without at least 2 bowls of Life cereal in the morning. Oh, and then after my mom had gone to get some, during which time I went back to bed, my brother ate half of what she had gotten. I hate them. I need my own place. Or I just need the annoying younger siblings who have no respect for me or my food or my toilet paper preferences to leave the house so I can have it to myself.
And yes, I do know that I'm being irrational. But they really suck sometimes.
days of summer
Yay for days that involve lemonade and lying out by the pool in my bathing suit. I love summer. I love the weekend. Okay, I know its not the weekend, but today is my Sunday since I work Saturdays and have Sundays and Mondays off.
Life is also really good now that I'm done with the LSAT class. Before it was like having 1 day off each week because on Mondays and Wednesdays I'd have to go to my class at like 4:45 which really cuts into the day.
On the subject of the LSAT, its now T minus 14 days or so before I get my score. I think the approximate date that they gave us was July 6th. So its two more weeks of blissfully not worrying about what my score will be or where I 'm going to apply to school, so yay for that too.
I'm just in a great mood today, and for no particular reason. I love sunny summer days and eating dinner outside and taking the dog for long walks, etc.
Okay, enough of my cheesiness. I'm done for today. Back to watching On Air with Ryan Seacrest (it's a surprisingly good show).
My mom put it best when she said that these people are just not human
I could try to pontificate as to what I think of the atrocity of the beheading of Paul Johnson yesterday, as well as Nick Berg, but the truth is that I have no words. These people make me feel sick inside.
the phillies game
Oh boy was that a great baseball game last night. (Read: I am being seriously sarcastic here.) So let's see. I picked up Jen at her apartment and then we drove down to Rory's house where we sat for a few minutes before leaving in two different cars. Rory picked Jen to navigate, although I'm not sure why since Jen moved from Colorado less than two years ago and doesn't know the area at all (I don't even think she had been to Philadelphia before, at least not on 95 because she was asking me a lot about the old abandoned building and whether or not that was what Center City looked like.
Right, so anyway, needless to say we got lost. We ended up on Rt. 1, and were desperately looking for 95 which we found only after getting detoured down Cottman Avenue for like 20 minutes. So then, right before we were gonna get off the exit for the new Phillies stadium* the skies just opened up. Major thunderstorm. So, since were were a little late in getting to the stadium we were actually pretty happy about the rain delay which we knew would be called.
So obviously, knowing how MLB really doesn't like to cancel games, especially since this was inter-league play and they wouldn't be meeting again later in the season, we went inside. It continued raining for like 2 hours before they finally called the game at like 9pm or so, over two hours after the first pitch was supposed to have been thrown.
Still, we had fun. We got some eats, made friends with a bunch of middle-aged men who ate at the umbrella-ed table we were sitting at, and didn't whine too much when we got wet.
Tonight the Phillies are playing the Detroit Tigers in a day-night doubleheader to make up for last night's rain out. I'm not going for two reasons. One is that I'm sick. I felt sick yesterday and then after standing in the rain for two hours...well let's just say that it didn't help. Reason number two is that if I weren't sick, I'd be at work. Anyway, Mom just brought home dinner so that pretty much ends this.
*Yesterday I said that the Phillies were playing at Lincoln Financial Field, which is where the Philadelphia Eagles play. I was wrong. The Phillies now have their very own ballpark called Citizen's Bank Park, and it is VERY nice, especially where its covered.
i'm really stupid sometimes
So my friend Jen just called and invited me to go to a Philadelphia Phillies game with her, Rory and Kate. Rory and Kate won the tickets in a work contest on Friday and Saturday nights this past weekend, and it turns out that they have an extra ticket. Why is this stupid of me? Well, perhaps because I really did only get like 2 hours of sleep last night and I haven't napped other than for like 20 minutes. That and I have to open at work tomorrow at 10am. And perhaps also because I'm working a double tomorrow, Friday and Saturday. Yeah, I'm not the brightest sometimes, but its gonna be fun; a girl's night out. If I can stay awake. The Phillies are playing the Detroit Tigers tonight, so its not like the game is gonna be any good (although I hear the Tigers aren't doing that badly, and its always fun to watch American League pitchers try to bat, hehe) but I haven't been to a professional baseball game in forever.
Literally. Okay, not literally (you caught me using language that is too strong once again). But almost literally. I think the last time I saw the Phillies play was probably when I was in like 7th grade, and I haven't seen the Yankees (my favorite team) play since I was 8 (that I really do mean literally. The last time I was at a Yankees game I was 8 years old, we had shitty seats somewhere in left field, and this annoying lady behind us kept yelling "MEEELLLL! MEEELLL!" at Mel Hall, the left fielder. It sucked. And it was during the 80's so the Yankees sucked as well).
Now that I think of it, I think I went to a Montreal Expos game when I was 16. Yeah, I did. We were vacationing in Montreal and we saw them play the Colorado Rockies. Let me tell you something: the Canadians have the whole concession food thing down to a very pleasant science. They come and take your order and then serve you in your seats! More American stadiums should do that for the people who don't have the rich person sky boxes.
Oooh, more exciting baseball trivia for you (I realize I have given you exactly zero exciting baseball trivia up to this point, but bear with me, I'm working on exactly zero sleep). I'm going to see the Phillies play in their new home tonight at Lincoln Field (or the Linc as we call it around here because we're too stupid or lazy to call it by its full name. We did that with Veterans Stadium too, imploded earlier this spring, by calling it The Vet). I know the Eagles (or Iggles and those from Philly prefer to pronounce it) played there all season, but I still think its cool.
Okay, I'm spent. And I have to shower. Wish me luck in staying awake the rest of the day.
It's like, ridiculously late--or early, depending in how you prefer to look at it--and I'm still fucking awake. If you think perhaps I sound a little bitter, you would be right. I tried
to go to sleep a little early tonight because I have an appointment with an oral surgeon tomorrow about getting my wisdom teeth removed sometime in the future. But anyway, the appointment. Yeah, its at 8. AM. And the office called and said to get there as early as possible because they have a really busy day tomorrow. So essentially Lauren will be up at the ass-crack of dawn, sitting in some stupid dentist's office and not
getting her teeth actually checked. Doesn't that sound like a fucking blast? And now, to add to my misery, we're going to have the wonderful fact that I'm not gonna get a wink of sleep tonight. Okay, I already got a wink, but literally, I think I slept for about 15 minutes. The rest of the time I've been wide awake. And gassy, but not in the farting kind of way. In the gas moving around my abdominal area kinda of way. The really unpleasant kind of way. I could take tooting the whole night, but this just sucks. I think I must need some Mylanta or something. Isn't that what you take for gas? I'm a retard, I have no clue.
Yes, I know I just revealed way more about myself than you feel you needed to know, but I'm the kinda gal that just lets it all hang out. What good is a diary if you can't tell it everything? Just b/c other people actually read it shouldn't mean I censor myself, or should it? I dunno, its late and my brain isn't turned on right now.
In other, less disgusting news, I finally saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban today with my friend Rory from work. It was awesome. I know, I know, my use of descriptive language at this hour is truly astounding. I can't help it. I'm just that prolific any hour of the day or night. But anyway, definitely go see Harry Potter if you haven't seen it yet. But not if you haven't seen the first two yet, because that would just be dumb. And speaking of dumb, if you haven't seen the first two Harry Potter movies yet, you're dumb (there I go again with the descriptive language). What, do you live under a rock? Been in a coma the past three or four years? Rent the damn DVDs. If you think its kid stuff well, again I would like to reiterate that you're dumb. Now, if my insulting you hasn't motivated you to go out and rent those damn DVDs like any sane person living in our society would do, then I just don't know what's gonna do it. You'll just have to spend the rest of your life being dumb, which was probably gonna happen anyway, so I think I'll shut up about it and let you decide for yourself. But see the movies if you don't want to be dumb.
The LSAT is over. Wow. I can't believe its over. I'm really quite relieved, and I think I did well, but don't hold me to that. I should be getting my score in approximately 3 weeks, so around July 6 (according to the testing people). It's weird cuz a whole lot of my life has revolved around this stupid test for the past three months. Now I have to go back to living in the real world. But don't think I'm gonna change my schedule to work more hours. That would just be dumb. Anyway, went out and got schnockered tonight (not really, but I tossed back a few with a friend) and I gotta go to work in the morning, so its off to bed for me.
P.S. The dog is looking for something (maybe a fly or something) and won't stop sniffing around the pillows. That could be really annoying if I'm trying to get some shut-eye.
Today is the day that the other shoe is going to drop, the shit is going to hit the fan, the....okay, I'm out of dumb euphemisms (my repetoire is very small). The point is, today is the day that pretty much determines where I'm going to get into law school. Yep, that's right, after months of whining about LSAT homework and going to class, etc., today is finally the day that I'm taking the LSAT. Right now it's 10:52 am (that's 7:52 am for you Dante
) and I have to be at the testing center by 12:30pm. I just got out of the shower, I'm dressed, but I still have to dry my hair, do my makeup, put on socks and shoes, get my pencils ready, grab the admission ticket, and hightail it to the gas station for cigs before I actually go on my way. Luckily, as long as I stop babbling on here, that shouldn't take me more than 35 or 40 minutes. Okay, I need to stop typing. Is this pounding in my chest normal?
my new obsession
I don't know how it happened, but in the past few days I've been totally obsessed with Tobey Maguire. Even I'm starting to think I'm weird.
I'd never even seen the first Spider-Man movie, but today I went out and rented it because I decided that I liked Tobey Maguire and didn't want to see the second movie, which I believe is coming out in a few weeks, until after I had seen the first. Is that weird?
He was even in my dream the other night, but that could have had something to do with the fact that I've been obsessing over how cute he is for the past week. Like I said, I'm beginning to scare myself with this. Do any of you ever get weird, random celebrity crushes that take over for like a week at a time and then randomly go away?
I hope it goes away anyway. It's not like I know the guy, therefore have no chance in hell of ever getting it on with him, besides which I think he has a girlfriend. So maybe what I need is a real person to obsess about. Hmmm, I really need to meet more guys.
tanning is a bitch
So today I decided that since my expensive tan was fading, and since I didn't have any tans left at Hollywood Tans, and don't really intend to purchase any (I'd rather acquire skin cancer the old fashioned way), I'd go out and lay by the pool. So I put on my bathing suit, slathered myself with sunscreen, grabbed one of my LSAT workbooks and the dog and made my way out to the backyard. I was out there for 30 minutes. It's hot as a mofo out there today. For those of you who don't know anything about New Jersey, let me fill you in on a little secret. It's literally built on a swamp. The whole state, prior to being developed, was marshland (perhaps with the exception of the Pine Barrens, but trust me, the Pine Barrens aren't exactly inhabitable anyway).
So why am I telling you about the history of the Garden State's land? To give you an idea of how freakin hot it gets in the summer. Because what does marshy swamp land produce when the temperature rises? HUMIDITY. So today, the heat index is between 100 and 105 degrees. Really beautiful.
Now, I'm not one who's ever been able to sit out for hours in the sun trying to achieve the perfect shade of skin damage, but staying out for only 30 minutes is a new low. I suppose I could have gone in the pool, which I will on occasion do when its really hot out and I'm trying to tan my albino white skin, but I stuck my toe in, and apparently the thing really has not had the opportunity to heat itself up yet. So it's like 75 degrees in the pool and I decided against going in.
Anyway, the point is that I'm not sure I really managed to do all that much besides make myself smell like the entire state of Florida (in case you were wondering, I firmly believe that all of Florida smells like sunscreen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). Oh yeah, and I got a few problems done, but not that many seeing as I was too busy trying to wipe the sweat off myself. Shit, I hope the sunscreen I used was waterproof.
down to the wire
I'm officially taking the LSAT in 6 days (5 if you don't count today, 4 if you don't count today or Monday, the day I take the test, but who's counting?). I feel pretty good about it, especially after my last diagnostic, on which I got a 161. That definitely made me feel a bit more confident. And I heard that Testmasters
students* tend to go up about 5 points on the real test from their highest diag. That would be freakin awesome since it would put me at a 166. That's almost high enough for my score to qualify as a partial tuition gift certificate. Anyway, the point is that I'm very happy with my score, but I'd be lying if I said that I'm not totally freaked out about taking the test on Monday. Unfortunately I have to deal with the reality that if I want to be a lawyer I have to deal with the fact that this test sort of determines which school it is that makes me a lawyer. I'm freaking myself out even more just writing about this. I gotta go.
*Usually I wouldn't be pushing the Testmasters program, but honestly, if you need to take an LSAT prep course, take this one. The method they use is amazing and I've gone up 9 points since my first diag and if I actually do go up another 5 on the actual test, well then that's a 14 point difference. Definitely worth the $1250 (that my parents spent because I am poor).
trying to fit a roung peg into a square hole...
One of the things we did before comin' over is we had a round-table discussion sitting around a square table.
George W. Bush
J. Lo's Cred
February 12, 2003
Speaking to a group of "small investors" in Virginia.
I think it's safe to say that J. Lo's credibility--what was left of it after she and Ben Affleck cancelled their wedding (not to mention their engagement)--is gone:
J.Lo & Marc Anthony: They Do!
Honestly, I think the girl has a problem with serial monogamy. Maybe you should get some counseling honey.
It's just like Reagan to die on the 60th anniversary of D-Day.
That's all I have to say about that, except that its too bad that he didn't kick the bucket a few months ago (if you think I'm being unpatriotic or whatever, shove it) because my best friend's husband would have been one of the soldiers carrying the casket. Until about a month and a half ago, he was a member of the Air Force Honor Guard and not too long ago he and the other Army, Navy, Coast Guard and Marine members who had been selected were practicing for State funerals on the steps of the Capitol. Kinda cool, huh? But alas, he's no longer in the military and so its gonna be some other guy that I know carrying the casket (read: I have 2 ex-boyfriends who were a part of that unit--it won't be them carrying though) instead of Tommy. Oh well.
Oh yeah, I'm pretty much over my sulking over Smarty losing the Belmont. Stupid Birdstone. Stupid name. I hate that horse. I did say that I was pretty much over it. Clearly, I still have some lingering bitterness.
So, Smarty Jones lost the Belmont Stakes. I'm really upset. I wanted him to win so badly, him being our Philadelphia hometown hero and all. I hate Birdstone. Bad horse. Stupid horse, stupid name, couldn't just let Smarty and Philadelphia have their freakin' glory. I have to go now so I can sulk like a child.
Good Luck to Smary Jones in the Belmont Stakes!
girls lie too
I wanted to share with you the lyrics to a song that I find particularly amusing.
Girls Lie Too
by Terri Clark
Son she can’t go out tonight again
Her sister’s sick, she’s gotta baby-sit
Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good excuse
Now you didn’t hear any of this from me
But things aren’t always what they seem
Brace yourself, this may come as a shock to you
Girls lie, too
We don’t care how much money you make
What you drive or what you weigh
Size don’t matter anyway
Girls lie, too
Don’t think you’re the only ones
Who bend it, break it, stretch it some
We learn from you
Girls lie, too
We can’t wait to hear about your round of golf
We love to see deer heads hanging on the wall
And we like Hooter’s for their hot wings too
Other guys never cross our minds
We don’t wonder what it might be like
How could it be any better than it is with you
Yeah, girls lie, too
We always forgive and forget
The cards and flowers you never sent
Will never be brought up again
Girls lie, too
Old gray sweatpants turn us on
We like your friends and we love your mom
And that's the truth
Girls lie, too
Yeah that’s the truth
Girls lie, too
No, we don’t care how much hair you have
Yeah, that looks good
Comb it over like that...
you gotta read this
Swedish Moose Runs Off With Bicycle
the senate comes to the fish
Okay, not the whole
Senate, but on Sunday night Senator John Edwards
of North Carolina made an appearance at the restaurant I work at. I however, was not there. Too bad, because I think he's pretty cute. He was only there though because his daughter (who is my age) is graduating from Princeton University this week. Still though, I'm pretty impressed that he ate where I work. I happen to like Edwards' politics. Anyway, that's the big news from my end for the day.
Oh yeah, the other big news is that I HAVE A TAN! If you knew me, you'd know why I'm so excited. I don't tan very well (but I burn fantastically) so actually having a tan is a real treat for me.