what the fuck
I'll tell you what. Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with this week. First fucking Jen's husband has a stroke at 38 years old. That's not fucking supposed to happen. Then Emily decides she has to try to kill
herself? Seriously, how much is one person supposed to be able to deal with in less than one fuck week?
I'm pissed as shit at Emily. What exactly does she think I'm made of? Fucking iron or something? My brain can only fucking process so much at once. I mean, I get that she's going through some shit, but come on!
I can't take much more of this. And they say bad things happen in threes you know. One more thing and I'll go over the fucking edge. I mean don't get me wrong, I'd never do something as fucking dumb as Emily did, but I've been in the depressed state of mind before, and I don't want to go there again.
Weird as it is, the thought of the potential relationship that I have with Derek is sort of keeping me sane. Because its the one thing in my life right now that's going in a positive direction. Like I have my family and all, and I have a good relationship with them, but that's really just status quo. So the fact that I had a good date last night with someone that I think I could really like is so good for me at this shitty moment. Ugh. I need to wake up from this hellish fucking dream.
actually, people who want to kill themselves.... they're feeling pretty fubared already.
i hope emily finds peace in her life.
best of luck with your relationship with derek.
Perhaps here lack of finding a reason to live might be a problem.....funny how all your insight didn't help her...and now you KNOW why people pray...because humans are too stupid to see the obvious or perhaps you're to wound up in your own life to even help your friend. Funny how you can be in a crowd and no one can sense what is wrong with you and yet you feel like dying. Maybe this is why we need Jesus because your so weak you can't see your friend is dying inside and instead of feeling like helping you lash out and see how that inconvienced your life. Do you look self centered? YES! But that doesn't seem to be helping your friend...neither does all your education. Perhaps what you think was the answer isn't really it at all because with all your knowledge and all your power can't save your friend. The blame doesn't fall on GOD because if there were a GOD and He is so good why would he allow this to happen. But you never look at your self and say how did I allow this to happen. The hypocryt would blame GOD and say God failed but never look within their own self to see they failed. Do you know why I walk and talk with God? So I don't end up so selfish in my life that a friend would be right beside me, and me never see their pain and that pain be so much they would want to die. What kinda friend are you really?