back to the grind
Well, its back to the daily grind. I volunteered today at Planned Parenthood, and tomorrow its back to work. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up a shift for Friday night, but if not, I may try to hang out with Dan. We didn't get together yesterday because he was too tired, but the great thing was that he actually called
to tell me he was too tired and asked if I wanted to do something later in the week, unlike the other turd I was going out with. It was a refreshing difference. I still don't know if its like a date though. Hmm. Guess I'll just have to figure it out for myself when we hang out.
Oy, you know what? I've had it with boys! I'm pretty sure that they way I dealt with boys in Arizona is the right way of doing things. Okay, not really, but it would be nice. Sexual liberation is a good thing, I think. Ugh, I don't know. My mind is on overload right now and I have to do laundry for work tomorrow. And I want to read more of Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. If you haven't read it yet, its the prequel to The Da Vinci Code. I'm only on page 40 or something, but its already pretty good. Anyway, off to read/do laundry. Sorry this was so incoherent.
i love arizona
Wanna see the resort I stayed at in Arizona? We stayed at the Fairmont Scottsdale Princess
in (duh) Scottsdale, Arizona. Check out the slideshow. The place was SO BEAUTIFUL. I'll post pictures as soon as I can.
when it rains...
You know that saying "when it rains, it pours?" How true it is indeed.
The family flew back from Arizona last night, although we were all whimpering with pity for ourselves at having to leave the gorgeous Valley of the Sun. I am extremely tan though. Right, not the point. I'll go on with my theme.
So, let me just put it this way. My inner slut had been out of commission for quite a long time, but in the past few days, I'm pretty sure I found it. Let me elaborate.
Until Wednesday night, I hadn't had sex for like 9 months. It was depressing. Then I met this guy on Wednesday, reasonably cute and all, while I was sitting at the resort bar. We started talking, we ended up leaving together and going off and having sex with him on a picnic table somewhere on the grounds of the resort. Classy, huh? I wasn't upset about the sex or the circumstances at all. It was that kind of desperate sex, you know? Like when its been, for example, nine months and the opportunity presents itself and you don't just take it, you grab it.
Anyway, fast forward to Thursday night, my last night at the hotel. I went yet again to the bar, and to my dismay, the guy I had been eyeing at the pool for the past couple of days was just leaving. So I sat down anyway and ordered my drink and just pretty much sat around shooting the shit with the bartenders and one of the locals (a 50-something South African named Johann). Then cute boy came back and sat down next to me (okay, he actually sat down one seat down from me, but close enough). So we started talking, yada yada yada. Turns out he lives in the town that my brother goes to college in (can we say Connecticut booty call?). Anyway, when the bar closed we decided to go for a swim. Don't snicker just yet, we did actually swim. We also hooked up (but did not have sex) in the pool a little before going back to his room (oops, I mean suite). Anyway, like I said, I found my inner slut. I had sex with him too. And that one I truly don't regret in the least because it was good. I mean, the guy the night before had been good, but this was fucking great sex. Hence my desire to get that booty call when I visit my brother. Even he kept on saying how good it was. I mean, it probably ranks right up there with the best sex I've ever had. So yeah, I definitely was a little on the slutty side, but I think I'm gonna choose to think of it as me just being a sexually liberated woman. Hey, if a man can do it, why can't I?
Anyway, I got back last night and went out with some friends and ended up seeing my friend Dan. We've always gotten along really well and everything but apparently, with all the booze in my body, not to mention the exhaustion of flying and such, I found Dan pretty attractive last night. Before your mind even wanders there, NO I DID NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. But he walked me out to my car and asked for my phone number and we might hang out and go see a movie or something tomorrow. I don't know if its a date, nor do I know whether or not I should read anything into the fact that when we said goodnight, he kissed me on the lips. Just a little peck, which he and I don't usually do, but in my group of friends everyone kisses on the lips. But anyway, I don't know. Doesn't really matter, I'm sure we'll have a good time.
And I'm sure you're wondering about Derek. Yeah well, so am I a little bit. The night before I left for Arizona I left him a message. And embarassing one. He hadn't called me back in a couple of days, so I left him a message telling him that I assumed he didn't want to see me anymore and blah blah, then decided I was embarassed and told him that we should both just forget I ever left the message at all. Yes, I was drunk. And apparently also RETARDED. I felt really bad about it, so this afternoon I called him to apologize but got his voicemail and so I left a message just saying that I wanted to apologize for my behavior and that he was welcome to call me back but I would understand if he didn't. Well, he called. It was so awkward. The conversation pretty much ended with him saying he'd call me (giving no particular day or time, not that he sticks to those anyway), but I'm not holding my breath or worrying about it.
But I think the moral or the story really is that when it rains, it pours. Or, alternatively, don't sleep with too many people or you'll become a slut. It's a toss up between those two.
Here we go again. Let me recount part of a conversation that I had last night:
Him: I'll call you when I get home from the gym.
Okay, so it's only 7:45, he could still be at the gym, or he could be just getting home and showering or eating or something, so I'll try my best not to jump to conclusions. But its taking a pretty big effort, especially seeing as he gets off of work really early. I think the problem is that this is definitely becoming a pattern. I may talk to him tonight, he may even call me, though I'm not really holding my breath.
I'll probably call him with an attitude problem at like 9 if I haven't heard from him. I know that 9 is way too late for him to go out, which is kinda sucky, since I'm going to Arizona on Saturday morning and I'll probably be packing all of tomorrow night.
I don't know, what do you guys think? Is it even worth it if I have to call him EVERY SINGLE TIME and he doesn't call me when he says he will? I mean, its weird b/c when we're together I still have like no question at all that he wants to be with me, but then there's that phone allergy that he seems to have. I mean honestly, it really pisses me off. It's not like I couldn't have made other plans for the evening. In fact, I think I am going to go make other plans. Why should I sit at home thinking about him when he's clearly not thinking about calling me. UGH. GRRRR. I hate boys.
If you do not wish to know the results of tonight's Women's Gymnastics Individual All-Around Final, DO NOT READ THIS POST!
So, I was just at the USA Gymnastics homepage because I have a problem with needing instant gratification and I wanted to know who won the gold in the women's All-Around today in Athens.
So, I hope you want to know this, because I warned you at the top of the post. Here's the warning again. I KNOW WHO WON THE GOLD. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW BEFORE WATCHING IT ON TV TONIGHT, STOP READING RIGHT HERE!
16 year old American gymnast Carly Patterson won the Olympic All-Around competition this evening in Athens. So far the United States has medaled in every single gymnastics event held during the summer games.
By the way, I did gymnastics for 12 years, so I'm a gymnastics freak. I mean seriously, can you believe what they've been doing? Monday night the American men won the team silver medal, the first time they've medaled in an Olympic Games since 1984, and that Games wasn't even fully attended (the Soviets boycotted that year). Then on Tuesday night the American women made a few errors and placed second to the Romanian women's team, who wrapped up a gold for the second Olympic Games in a row. The best part about the women's team silver was that they've completely rebuilt their program over the past 4 years. In Sydney the team didn't even medal.
Wednesday night in Athens was Paul Hamm's night. After literally hitting the judges table after sitting down his vault in the 4th rotation, putting him all the way down in 12th place, he managed to battle back during his last two rotations to win the all-around gold medal by the SMALLEST margin in history. And he's the first American man to win the all-around gold medal in ANY Olympics, fully attended or not.
Then there's tonight, which I obviously haven't seen yet. Carly Patterson wins the women's all-around gold medal. That hasn't been done since Mary Lou Retton did it in 1984, and while that was spectacular, I think I may have already mentioned that the '84 Games weren't fully attended.
So anyway, I won't be able to spoil the news for the event finals, since I'll be in Arizona. Thanks if you actually didn't get completely bored by my little lesson in the recent historic Olympic events.
Oh yeah, I already got my computer back. Doesn't that rock? I only sent it out on like Tuesday! And it works! I love Dell (buy their products, even if they break they fix them fast).
away for a while
So, I won't be able to write as much for a little while. My computer is dead so I have to use the family computer, which is virtually never available. I have to send mine back to Dell so that they can fix it and they said I would have it back in 4-5 business days, but I'll probably already be in Arizona on vacation when that happens.
Anyway, I did end up seeing Derek on Friday night and all went very well. So I guess I'll just let this run its course without too much thought. I mean, if it works out then it works out and if it doesn't then it doesn't. No harm, no foul either way.
Speaking of which, I have to go call him now so I'll write whenever I can.
oh, the disenchantment
So, I did finally talk to Derek on Wednesday night. But only because I called him, chickened out like a 3rd grader after the phone rang twice, and hung up. He called me back about a half hour later. I did however, go over to work and I ended up going out with Lisa, who gave me some very interesting information regarding this guy that I'm going out with.
Interesting Tidbit #1: He's never had a real adult relationship.
Now, that's not really a bad thing, its just not normal. I mean, most people have had at least one relationship by the time they're 27, right? Especially someone who is attractive, has a good personality, has a good job, and generally seems to have a lot going for them. So anyway, that was a little bit disenchanting to me.
Interesting Tidbit #2: He lives with his parents.
I'll be the first to admit that I can't really judge too many people on this one, since I happen to live with my parents. But, my situation is a) temporary and b) cheap. I'm not driving around in an $80,000 car and coming home to live with my parents. Living with Mom and Dad can be very convenient, but honestly, it makes me question the common sense factor a little bit. As in, wouldn't it be easier to get a $50,000 and use the other $30,000 on a place of your own to live?
So we're hanging out tonight and I guess I'm just gonna see how it goes. I might just let it run its course tonight and then let him tell me he'll call me and just never pick up his slack by calling him when he forgets. We'll see how it goes tonight. I'll keep ya posted.
just pick up the fucking phone already!
Okay, so he said he would call me on Wednesday. I have a bad feeling. It's only 8 (well, not even yet) but for some reason I'm already starting to get pissed off. I think its because I decided, fine, I'll do all the initiating, but that doesn't get him out of calling when he specifically tells me he will. Because that just won't work. It'll piss me off, and then regardless of the amount of interest he has, I'll completely lose interest in someone who can't just pick up a fucking phone. What is it with guys? Are you seriously that lazy? Like, I just don't get it. I don't need to talk every day for hours, but what's up with not calling when you say you will, as if you're allergic to the phone, and then when you finally do call, you talk for like a whole hour. Well, anyway, all I'll say is this: if I'm wrong, and he does call tonight, then I'll gladly admit to being wrong. But until then I'm reserving the right to rant as much as I want about men as a species.
what do i want?
So, I haven't written for the past few days. I've been mulling some things over in my head, and its just taken me a little while to decide what I want to say about them.
Last Friday I finally did bite the bullet and call Derek. He was doing some stuff with friends and said that he would call me when they were leaving the bar. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was going out with people from work because it was a coworker's last night. He finally called me at like 11:30 or so and just happened to mention that he and his friend were thinking about coming up in my direction and so he asked where I was and yada yada yada. I didn't invite him, which is not to say that I didn't want him to come. I was thrilled that he wanted to come and see me.
So he came and it was a good thing and so yay, right? I was talking to one of my friends the other night who has known him for a long time and she was saying how even though sometimes he may talk about girls and stuff, he never really makes a move. All of a sudden a little lightbulb went off in my head. It was like ahhhhh, so I have to be the aggressor, which is something I'm comfortable doing for now. I just don't know how long its going to take before that gets old. It's not like I'm shy, or have a problem with being the person in a relationship who does most of the calling or decides on most of the plans, and its not like he hasn't been great about coming up here to where I live (we only live like a half hour apart, but still, we also have completely conflicting schedules and what not). Its also not as if I don't know that he's interested when I'm around him, its just that...I am a girl, and I do get insecure if you don't call when you say you will, ya know? I suppose at some point I will bring it up with him, but obviously not yet. I may have to suffer through another month or two of my being the one doing all the initiating, but at this point, I'm not so stupid that I don't know that if I said something now it could be interpreted in the wrong way.
Ugh, I don't know. And I'm tired, seeing as I've been out late waaay too much lately. I also have another follow-up appointment with my oral surgeon tomorrow at 8:45 AM. So I'm gonna go read some more of Anna Karenina until I'm tired enough to sleep and see what you all have to say about this before I do anything about it. You guys are my gurus.
basic truth in life
Apparently, I may have inadvertently discovered one of life's basic truths. Wanna hear?
It's very simple.
If you wake up in the morning and take half of a Percocet and a whole Adderall, you will throw up. I found this out the hard way today. Obviously, I'm still having a little mouth pain, and I take the Adderall every day for my ADD. I had never taken them so close together. My body complained LOUDLY. So just trust me on this, don't try it yourself, whether for fun or for pain/ADD. Fun will not ensue.
Its the little tips like this that help us all get through life just a little bit more painlessly.
middle of the night musings
So here it is the middle of the night and I'm awake. I just love being awake in the middle of the night (note the unending sarcasm I'm attempting to throw in here). Anyway, I'm attributing my insomnia to a couple of things. One thing really.
I didn't take my Adderall for 5 days, and for those of you who know anything about the side effects of my little wonder-drug, well, insomnia is one of them. So is a suppressed appetite which, along with the fact that I am only 5 days out of oral surgery-land, is probably why I ate almost nothing today, but I digress.
On a day-to-day basis, I can sleep just like a normal person while taking the Adderall, but skip 5 days and I'm gonna be up the whole night (if you're looking for proof of that, you're dumb, because I'm writing this at 2:24am, approximately 3 hours after I crawled into my oh-so-comfortable bed with the full intention of getting some pain-free sleep). I thought perhaps the Percocet that I've been living on would counteract the sleepless effect of the Adderall, but apparently I thought wrong.
So, I've been doing some middle of the night musing. Mostly with the eyes closed, hoping that some of my musing would turn into dreams or something like that, but to to avail. So now I'm planning on sharing some of my musings with you, my (devoted) reader(s).
I've been thinking about Derek. Our dates went so well, but now I've used up my phone call and I have to wait for him to call me. I think perhaps that was dumb. I mean, we're not at the stage yet where I wouldn't feel like a complete and total stalker if I called him again before he calls me. And I'm getting to that insecure level of girliness where I start to wonder if he's gonna call at all, which is dumb considering how well our dates went. Especially the second one, and I don't mean in a sexual way, because we're so still in the 11th grade making out in the car kinda stage. But anyway, even though I know we both had a good time, I still am a little insecure. I need some girl power to cheer me up (and I don't mean the Spice Girls). I'm gonna have to have a girl pow-wow (is that racist to say?) with Mari and Andrea, but not Lisa because she's friends with him. And that's the other thing. Can I ask her what she thinks? She's know him longer than she's known me, and I don't want to put her in a weird position. Oy, you know what the problem is? The problem is that its the middle of the fucking night and I need to get some sleep. I mean hell, I gotta get up at like 10am tomorrow to watch Dawson's Creek for 2 hours (I know, I really do have a boring life).
It's now time for me to attempt to sleep. I'm gonna pray for success on this one. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Ooh, only another hour before I can take more Percocet. Maybe then I'll fall asleep.
welcome to lauren's 10th month of blogging on blogger. yay. wooo. time to pass out from excitement. i can't wait until i'm healed. drugs suck.
Today has been a much more productive day for me, recovery-wise. By that I mean that I only slept for like 6 hours out of the day. Okay, I might be exaggerating. I probably only slept like 4. But seriously, that's good for me. And, I haven't taken a single Percocet the entire day. Fuck, that's a lie too. I took one. I think. Shit, this stuff really fries your brain. I haven't smoked in 4 days though and that's not
a lie. Aren't you proud of me?
Don't be. If I had smoked I would have gotten dry socket and apparently that's like right next to castration by spoon on the list of pleasurable things to do to oneself. Anyway, I haven't decided if I'm gonna go back to smoking yet. Derek doesn't smoke so that's one reason to quit. Hmmm...I'm really having trouble typing. I hate drugs. They make me feel woozy.
Know what else sucks? I can't drive. I tried yesterday and it didn't go so well. I didn't crash or anything, but it was just taking a whole lot more concentration than I would have liked.
Now I'm hungry. Cranky too. But that's mostly because I'm hungry and no one will pay attention to me. It's not like I can get myself food. Maybe I'll just go back to sleep.
Yeah. That's what I'll do. Tune in next time for yet another incoherent stream of consciousness.