middle of the night musings
So here it is the middle of the night and I'm awake. I just love being awake in the middle of the night (note the unending sarcasm I'm attempting to throw in here). Anyway, I'm attributing my insomnia to a couple of things. One thing really.
I didn't take my Adderall for 5 days, and for those of you who know anything about the side effects of my little wonder-drug, well, insomnia is one of them. So is a suppressed appetite which, along with the fact that I am only 5 days out of oral surgery-land, is probably why I ate almost nothing today, but I digress.
On a day-to-day basis, I can sleep just like a normal person while taking the Adderall, but skip 5 days and I'm gonna be up the whole night (if you're looking for proof of that, you're dumb, because I'm writing this at 2:24am, approximately 3 hours after I crawled into my oh-so-comfortable bed with the full intention of getting some pain-free sleep). I thought perhaps the Percocet that I've been living on would counteract the sleepless effect of the Adderall, but apparently I thought wrong.
So, I've been doing some middle of the night musing. Mostly with the eyes closed, hoping that some of my musing would turn into dreams or something like that, but to to avail. So now I'm planning on sharing some of my musings with you, my (devoted) reader(s).
I've been thinking about Derek. Our dates went so well, but now I've used up my phone call and I have to wait for him to call me. I think perhaps that was dumb. I mean, we're not at the stage yet where I wouldn't feel like a complete and total stalker if I called him again before he calls me. And I'm getting to that insecure level of girliness where I start to wonder if he's gonna call at all, which is dumb considering how well our dates went. Especially the second one, and I don't mean in a sexual way, because we're so still in the 11th grade making out in the car kinda stage. But anyway, even though I know we both had a good time, I still am a little insecure. I need some girl power to cheer me up (and I don't mean the Spice Girls). I'm gonna have to have a girl pow-wow (is that racist to say?) with Mari and Andrea, but not Lisa because she's friends with him. And that's the other thing. Can I ask her what she thinks? She's know him longer than she's known me, and I don't want to put her in a weird position. Oy, you know what the problem is? The problem is that its the middle of the fucking night and I need to get some sleep. I mean hell, I gotta get up at like 10am tomorrow to watch Dawson's Creek for 2 hours (I know, I really do have a boring life).
It's now time for me to attempt to sleep. I'm gonna pray for success on this one. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Ooh, only another hour before I can take more Percocet. Maybe then I'll fall asleep.
just call him.
trust me, if he digs you, it'll be the greatest thing in the world to have you call him.
i talked to the girls, and we all agreed that tomorrow night is the okay time to call him, so if i don't hear from him by then, i will be making the phone call. i have no problem being the agressive girl.
agressive girls... not always a good thing.
Maybe a day or 2 ago i took the saab over to the dealership for service and i met this girl outside.
it was all fine untill she said 'if you give me a ride i'll give you a ride."... tisk such a shame, she was really the trophy sort up till then.
on another note... I once fell in love with a girl and we called each other all the time ftom the day we met (and it carried on for years free of games)... hence forth.. I place forth the motion for you to call. (then again i'm not up to par with the "rules")
i, for one, hate the "rules." and i can't tell if he's playing by them, but for me its more about not seeming like a stalker, or like i have no life other than thinking about calling him (hence why i got off the phone with him one night to go out with someone else--and by that i mean hang out with a friend). shit, maybe i am playing by the "rules." i hate myself if i am.
okay, gotta go get ready to meet bill clinton. no really, he's gonna be at sam's club later and i already have my little bracelet that will allow me to rub elbows with the man who makes me proud to be a democrat. yay. will post pictures later if i'm allowed to take any.
ksg - dude. was she hot? i so woulda driven her to *any*where she wanted.
but that's because i'm a sexless whipped pig of a loser.
lauren - fuck the rules. there are no rules. rules are meant to be broken. if you like the guy, call him and let him know. hell, if i had a girl like you interested in me, i would never feel you were stalking me by calling me.
i would be waiting by the phone impatiently, wondering if you were gonna call, and when you did, my world would be complete.
but that's because i'm a sexless whipped pig of a loser.
well if you decide to NOT play by the rules...
which it's hard to pull a 180 if you already are
abiding by them.(sends mixed messages)
Flowers seal the deal.
For my 18th birthday I was in mexico city and this girl took me out, and she knew my fav. color was white so she picked me white wildflowers. I could not breath I was flabbergasted. I was really shocked and truly touched. It was just such a sweet and sincere gesture. (they lived for months) I floated the entire day/night./ every time I think back to them.
The girl outside Saab ... well she was perhaps a high 8's low 9's on scale to 10 before she said what she did.
I would wager it was more-so the car than myself.
sex with out passion is just an act.
and passion is not a direct derivative / nor has any correlation to nice cars. (though as Lauren knows by now it’s nicer to make out on plush hand stitched leather than cracked mass produced vinyl)