As I was lying in bed today attempting to recover from the cold that's going around work, I realized that I only have six months left on my sentence of indentured servitude to the restaurant. Unfortunately, the state of my burnout has become such that six months sounds like six years to me. For someone that only works four days a week, I'm really tired. Not to mention poor.
On January 1, my expenses creeped up to approximately $930 per month, not including my daily morning run to Dunkin' Donuts (are they just an East Coast thing, by the way?) which costs me $3.33 for a medium latte and chocolate glazed donut, the $20-25 I spend on gas every week and a half to two weeks, going out drinking (which has really been reduced to maybe $50 per week, and most of that is spent at lunch--sad and alcoholic as that sounds), and shopping. This makes me sad, because in all honesty, I make about $1600 per month, sometimes less, and every once in a while a little bit more. On a very good week I'll make about $500, which if I could make that consistently, would put me at two grand a month, making my $1000 in expenses seem like nothing. But its not very consistent and this, among other reasons, makes me feel like a great big 24 year-old failure. Until I listen to my friends at work, who all have the same problems, only on top of whatever they pay for their cars, credit cards, health insurance, etc., most of them have to pay rent and utilities too.
I think the best birthday present I'm gonna get this year (my birthday is in 5 days) is watching my bank account actually creep above the $1000 mark. In fact, at this moment I have something like $1174 in my savings account. God-willing I'll be able to keep it there, or maybe even add something to it. My original goal last year was to put $250 in my savings account every week. If I had done that religiously, I would have like $12,000 now. But I'm ridiculous and I have no concept of how to save money. I've been very good the past few weeks and have not gone out more than once a week, not including my short but oh-so-sweet lunch breaks (which according to the new way we're doing things at work have now been pretty much eliminated), but every time I'm ready to go fork over $300-400 to the savings account gods, my mother asks me for money. Car payment, health insurance, vet bill, etc. So all I've managed to put in is the birthday check I got from my grandmother and the one $50 bill I had left after paying off my mother. In the past two weeks I've given her like $700. And in a week I've got to give her $320 more.
Being an adult sucks. Being an adult living with your parents while waitressing for a corporate restaurant that believes that you are nothing more than a sales vehicle sucks even more. No wonder I'm so burned out. Please make the summer come soon so I can get out of this hellhole!
\When I was in high school..I didn't get a car from my parents..They were a bit hard on me (in just about all aspects) so I got a car loan instead..400usd a week which at times was a bit hard(2 jobs) . I got kicked out at 16 and thus I didn't have to pay my car payments (well..no they sent a collection agency however my lawyer was pretty good)
Just last week I paid my taxes after receiving my 2004 fiscal report from the accountants office.
My expenses went up by 23% including an extra 37,000usd for employees, and my taxes went up 151% yes..151! This is all sort of outstanding to me (as i don;t work or ever really see my staff more than 3-5 times a year.)
I used to be able to live off of 15k usd a year, Since I bought a 2nd home I now need closer to 120K usd a year just to pay for property taxes + utilities. I don't even know what to do with a helipad...it's not like I have a helicopter.
I can easily afford it all but sometimes..it's just an overwhelming sensation, the fear of living from month to month.
The short of it all i suppose is your not alone.
My brother says something to the effect of " I have a choice of X different bedrooms to sleep in every night, X different bathrooms, A small fleet of cars and an on duty mechanic (father). I get tea in the morning, at the office (one of our mothers facilities) and 2 times in the evening (he loves tea) I get all I can eat and a line of credit, I get just about anything anyone ever has needed to survive...and every day when I wake up and come downstairs to the breakfast table I contemplate moving out." Point being no one wants to really live at home past a certain age.(he's 22)
they say that life gets better with time... we'll see.
the first and last time that i had 2 grand in savings, i ripped through it like nothing working on the film and ended up broke. :-/
and yes, being an adult sucks.
here is hoping the next six months go by really, really fast.