milton academy sex scandal
First, a bit of an update on my life. Then I'll get into the good stuff.
So, tomorrow I start my new job. I'm working as an administrative assistant-type person with a pharmaceutical company located about twenty minutes from my house. I'm pretty excited about it, even though I've had to spend about $300 in clothing over the past three days just to have enough stuff to wear to an office where the dress code is "upscale business casual," whatever that means. I guess that's my punishment for working as a waitress for the past year. Whatever, I'm now suited up (no pun intended) with three new pairs of pants, four new shirts, two new jackets and one new pair of shoes. I should be pretty good for a while in that department. But what I really want to talk about is...
The Milton Academy Sex Scandal
If you watched The Abrams Report tonight on MSNBC (or if you happen to read the Boston Globe) then you may have heard about the so-called "sex scandal" at Milton Academy, a Massachusetts prep school. If not, essentially the gist of it is that five hockey players, ages 16-18, were expelled from the school for receiving oral sex in a locker room from a 15 year-old female student. Apparently this started out because the girl wanted to give the oldest boy a "birthday present." The female student was placed on "administrative leave" from the school but was not expelled. Now, this may not seem like a huge deal since stuff like this does tend to happen in high schools all over the country. But this particular story is of interest to my family and I because my brother graduated from Milton Academy in 2003 and during his time there was a member of the hockey team. He even dated the sister of one of the boys allegedly involved in the scandal. There seems to be a lot of debate over whether or not the boys should have been thrown out of the school. So here I am, offering my view on the matter.
Damn right they should have been thrown out. Whether or not the girl was coerced, which apparently she was not, at least according to my sources (both news media and what my mother has heard from the parents she is still friends with there), the simple fact is this: no school should be expected to tolerate such behavior from their students. Dan Abrams pointed out this evening that rules expressly prohibiting this kind of behavior are most likely printed in the school's handbook. That's reason number one. Reason number two is that in the state of Massachusetts, anyone under the age of 16 is considered a minor and therefore unable to consent. So now, since the boys are aged 16-18, you're dealing with statutory rape. Since this was reported to the authorities, what else is the school supposed to do? Just sit back and say well yeah, its against the law, but hey, boys will be boys so you can stay? Obviously not. Not to mention, its not like this was a one-on-one situation. This girl gave oral sex to five boys, one right after another. There's no way in my mind that the situation wasn't at all coercive.
People spend too much time blaming the victim. While I don't know whether or not I think charges should be filed against the boys involved, their punishment from the school was certainly just. At the very least, Milton Academy has its reputation to worry about. The school is widely considered one of the best secondary schools in the nation and has even been called the "Harvard" of prep schools. While it is not as widely known as schools such as Andover or Deerfield, mostly due to the fact that the day student population hugely outnumbers the resident student population, it would be a sad thing for such a wonderful school to gain a nation-wide reputation for an incident as vulgar and salacious as this.
while i agree that the school took the appropriate actions, the high school i went to (named south high) had the nickname "mouth" high because it was pretty well known throughout the beach towns that you could get orally serviced by both gals *and* guys fairly easily. nobody ever did or said anything, despite the fact that most of those who were involved were minors.
I'm amazed you got so much for just 300usd.
For me...thats a pair of shoes if i'm lucky...and I'm a guy.
I think your take on this story is absurd! These are young men who had consensual sex with a young girl and for that they could be charged as criminals! That doesn't make any sense! If she complained then that would be a different matter but to ruin the lives of these young boys because they had consensual sex is CRAZY!!!
I agree that the boys should have been expelled. However, the girl should have been as well. I highly doubt she was coerced. She even stated she wanted to give a "birthday present". If it was coercive-which it clearly was not-she should have been suspended.
for one she was 15 the one was 18 they should of known better they are lucky they are not in jail. I have a daughter and i would be out raged by this. its suppose to be a private school if its against the law then don't do it find someone that won't get you jail time. i mean we send our children to school with hope that the school hoping they can pertect your child the girl weather coerced or not was a minor it don't matter if she wanted it or not. I do think the punishment was appropriate them not going to jail was right a lack in judgment should not cost them there freedom hopefully next time they think before they act and find someone of age
As a European I find it amazing how contradictory American ethics are. Americans publish magazines like Playboy and Penthouse, there is a flourishing porn industry, you can find a hooker on every corner, Spring Break is known worldwide for college students (even students who are in a relationship at the time) to be promiscuous, the term "friends with benefits" spread from the US throughout the world etc etc. But whenever something in particular becomes public knowledge the common outrage reaches a new high. I remember the Bill Clinton Scandal, big deal. JFK had various affairs but since none of them were exposed to the public directly, noone really seems to care. Frankly, I do not understand this behaviour.
Teenagers are humans with raging hormones. It's biology, there's no way of denying it. And being open with your children about this coming of age, feelings, desires, curiosity would certainly prevent a lot of so called "sex scandals". In Germany statutory rape only applies for children under the age of 14 or under the age of 16 if they're stunted in their development which would have to be proven in front of a court of law. Still I didn't give my boyfriend a blowjob for his birthday at the age of 15, especially not in front of an audience or even extending the gift to the audience. A lot of girls have low self-esteem and, excuse my being blunt, have you seen the look on a guy'sn face when you give him a blowjob? Suddenly you're appreciated. This Milton Prep incident is not only about how we raise our boys it is even more about how we raise our daughters. Teach them self-esteeem, love them and let them know they're loved. And if we raised healthy children and they want to experiment, who are we to judge? I remember a time when our friends of a different gender weren't allowed to spend the night, but our parents weren't home during the day - they never thought about the possibility that sex is not only a night time activity.
Sex is natural, sex is fun. You don't change these facts by denying them, you just make your children feel guilty about a pleasant thing in life and you make them go behind your back.
Those are my fifty cent on this.
And just to end with facts: in Germany this would not have been this big a deal. Since the girl was over 14 it would not have been against the law, oral sex is not unlawful, having sex with more than one other person is not illegal. However, there would have been consequences since you can't do this on school property, But we don't leek incidents like this to the press. Guess, we're not that American. You love to know everything, get wound up about everything, privacy is an alien concept for you. Just think about the skeletons in your own closet, things you wouldn't want the public to know. The girl might not have been expelled, but after all this, how happy must her life at Milton Academy been from that moment on?
And I know it's too simple to blame everything on the parents, but children are a product of their mother and father, both genetically and in terms of upbringing, tabooing sex can also make a child run riot sexually, just FYI...
And to Madina who said "hopefully next time they [...] find someone of age" - the girl was fifteen, the boys 16-18 - that is their age, their peer group. It's not very common to interact only with people born in the very same year as yourself. Or do you?
Or do you mean by "of age" that the 16-year-old boy should find himself a 21-year-old woman because she yould be of age? I'd find that a lot weirder than dating a 15-year-old.
And I meant leak not leek, I apologize, it's early morning here and I haven't slept yet :)
(there's also missing a "have" that should come with the "been")
This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. There's absolutely no reason the girl shouldn't have been expelled along with everyone else.