the other girl
Has anyone seen my morals lying around lately? I seem to have misplaced them. Remember "HOT" of a few posts ago? So it turns out he's back with his girlfriend which I had heard from a mutual friend (which is pretty much all we have, tons and tons of mutual friends) but he's still been calling me.
So last night, against my better judgment but with a couple of beers in me to make good judgment look bad, I called him. It turned out he was already on his way over to the bar, which worked out just fine for me. Actually for a while after he got there, he didn't even say hello or come anywhere near me. My friend (who knows the entire to cheat or not to cheat saga) even mentioned it.
After a while I ran out of cigarettes (not like it was that long or that I smoke that much, I really should have stopped for cigarettes on the way there but I'm dumb and didn't anticipate the entire world bumming from me). I went to the Circle K to get some and when I came back I was freezing because it had become cold and rainy outside. So HOT offers to warm me up. So we're sitting there, he's got his thumb down the front of my pants and every once in a while he kisses my neck or bites my ear or something. Keep in mind we're at a BAR while this is going on. Not just a bar, but our neighborhood bar, where everybody knows everybody. Good thing his girlfriend isn't allowed in there because she's like 10. Anyway, we didn't stay like that all night, but at the end of the night there we were again.
And then he tells me that his girlfriend is coming over. Considering we're not really doing anything and its like 1am and the front doors are probably locked and she can't get in, I'm not super worried, but whatever. Then his hand moved up under my shirt and INTO my bra. IN PUBLIC! When I figured out that he wasn't going to stop (I'm not really sure I wanted him to) I just sort of pulled my jacket around me so as to hide where his hand was. Yeah, I know, it's gross to do that in a bar, but its not really the worst thing I've ever done (as far as I know). Anyway, in the middle of all this he proceeds to tell me that he really wishes his girlfriend was not coming over and I just sort of laughed and told him that it was really fucked up that he was saying that about his girlfriend. Keep in mind, hand still on boob. Then she called and we had to leave.
So you know what's fucked up on my part? When I saw his girlfriend I gave her a big hug and we JOKED that I was "taking care" of her boyfriend when she wasn't around. OY! Honestly, I really wish I cared a little bit more. Which is why I was wondering if you'd seen my morals. It's almost like I can't stop this from happening, even though nothing really has happened yet. It's like a force of nature or something. And I don't want to hurt the girl, but she knows who he is and it's him that should be thinking about her, not me. Right?
I don't know whose worse...you or ...I refues to call him "hot"
The poor girl being lied to and manipulated...by both parties! Had it only been him...it would have been something else.
There is very little we have control over this world, and we are forced to contantly deal with ever evolving events beyond most of us. However this being said the one thing we do have a firm grasp over, can fully control and manipulate as we wish is our actions and words. As a sideffect we can further manipulate the perception we give off to the world around us.
As a matter of fact...here take my morals. They do me more harm than good and you end up keeping promises to everyone long after they have faded from your life.
Once in Mexico I was with an amazing girl in a theater "misbehaving" when a group of nuns sat down a few rows behind us....you would think this would have been enough to stop us.
I'm not worried about her. Maybe I should be, but I'm not. She knows who he is, what he's about, what he does when she's not around, and she's still with him. Not my problem.
Besides, I haven't even come to a decision yet. Thinking about doing something does not carry the same moral weight as actually doing it.
I slept with him...but by then he had broken up with his girlfriend. Maybe my behavior wasn't the best, but I'm in my 20s and I'm allowed to have fun and lose my morals in my beer sometimes.
I thought he would have gotten back together with his girl by now (we slept together more than a month ago) but he hasn't...not that anything more has happened between us. In fact, we're not really great friends anymore, a fact that got to me for a while, but now I've resigned myself to the fact that we probably weren't that great friends before...it was the sexual tension that kept things going. What can you do? He's still hot but now that I've had the experience, I think I can do without having it again (it was good, but not 5 years of sexual tension and buildup good, you know what I mean?)